Day 8: January 8, 2016 - Following Like a Child

January 8, 2016
Day 8 Following Like a Child


How much of what we do for someone else is actually for someone else? When I do something for you, how much is it for you or how much is it to satisfy my need to keep looking like I'm doing something good, something worthwhile? When I pray with you, am I silently listening or am I talking and filling up spiritual space trying to combat the uneasy feeling I have with your requests, your honesty, your vulnerability.

And when am I going to realize that none of this matters? My intentions are smeared and slimed. My understanding is not complete. But, because of my relationship with You and what You did for me, I'm taken out of the quotient. It is YOU working through me, not me working through You.  Such an amazing concept blinding my categories, scrambling my insights. It then looks like I have to be led, because I'm definitely blinded by the light. (oh classic rockstars) And you tell me this is good.

Do I really believe that Jesus, you, will lead when you ask me to follow you? Am I willing to wait before acting even when it makes me look less spiritual? Am I willing to take time to see what my Father in heaven is doing. You did this, Jesus, and it din't bode so well for you. People actually thought you had a demon, that you were a liar, that you blasphemed. You never took the fast route. You never healed in conventional ways. You only did what you saw your Father doing. This is not thinking on my feet type of action. This is acting after bended knee.

Jesus, you have brought us to a different kingdom. This kingdom has completely different values than the one we are physically living in. How you ask us to live in this kingdom makes us look presumptious, too carefree for the bills we have to pay, not dependable - especially when we are led by your Spirit. Sometimes it makes me look stupid in the physical kingdom. You do realize that doesn't go over real well? To depend on you daily, well, I look like a poor planner.

The difference between a relationship with Jesus and religiosity is a deep chasm. Why is it hard to see? Religiosity is wanting to do it right in order to look good, to get things done in a timely manner, to make sure we do this and that. Religiosity is being with the "right" people. Whereas, following you is all about my relationship with you, my being with you and the love that results to others from remaining in You. The "right people" concept flies out the window plummeting into the chasm.

Please, please, Jesus, in 2016 continue to draw me further into a relationship with you and farther away from the religiosity that kills the spirit while making sure everything looks good! I do want to come to you like a child.