April 18, 2015
Day 103
While driving to Rhode Island we watched a DVD called "Generations" from the College of the Ozarks. It stirred something in my thirteen year old son Geoffrey. In a Holy Spirit whoosh he came up with an idea, a simple idea, and he called it, The Veterans' Meal. First, they would feed the Veterans, secondly, they would give the Veterans a knotted fleece blanket, and thirdly they would honor them by allowing them a place to share. The veterans would be the program. A simple plan with spectacular results. The homeschool students who were part of a class I had developed called EnLIST were the active students on duty who would make this happen, Geoffrey being one of them. (Engaging-7/8th graders in- Leadership, Interesting people, Speeches, and Team building)
The first meal was surrounded by fierce storm clouds and torrential rain. The veterans came anyway. There were five of them, three from the Korean War, one from the Vietnam war, and one from WWII. They brought memorabilia and laid it out on a plastic rectangular table. The delicious meal was willingly provided by the mothers. We then listened to their stories of delayed college, lost sport's scholarships and nightmares. The students who initially came hesitantly, not wanting to give up their time, later thanked us profusely. These students would never forget the Veterans' Meal. Wisdom was given and received in a most beautiful way.
We will never forget when the five men, who had never met before, circled in the middle of the room at the first Veterans' Meal. We went silent, goosebumps appeared, the camaraderie between these men was intense. We were caught up in a hallow moment. These men needed one another more than we could ever imagine and more than they even knew. Two of them discovered, as they looked at one's picture, that they had been on the same ship just at different times. The world is small.
As each man walked out the door that night they repeated the same thing, "Thank you. Thank you for honoring me. No one has done this before. Thank you!" We knew we had been allowed to be part of something so simple and yet so magnificent. Who knew?
The next Veteran's meal, two years later, followed the same path. And one thing became evident while we listened to active and non active duty WWII, Korean, Vietnam, Afganistan and Iraq veterans, no program was necessary. The only "program" needed for this evening was space and time for the Veterans to share, meet with other comrades from different wars and display pictures, medals, awards and books.
Fast forward to last night, the third Veteran's Meal. This particular EnLIST class had twenty-six students planning the event, a bit overwhelming but nonetheless wonderful. The mothers again provided delicious lasagnas, salads and garlic bread dripping with butter along with fabulous desserts. Some of the students put their own hands together and made lasagna and desserts. One of the students, of her own ambition, painted a flag on a canvas. While another self-directed student, created a wonderful welcoming banner.
Last night, Twin Valley Fire Company, run by men of honor, opened some of the bays for us to spread out tables enough to feed almost sixty folks. Unlike the first two meals surrounded by storm clouds, this evening was beautiful. The bay doors were wide open and it felt like a summer evening. We had invited sixteen Veterans, fifteen of which were there. We had prayed for this night in class, we had assured the students that this night would be a night they would not want to miss (all of them have such busy schedules and when we begin planning for the Veterans' meal we listen to all of their excuses, they simply do not know, but they will and they do). Tonight, my daughter, Nicole, would benefit from her brother's marvelous idea, ah, the circle of life.
The Veterans' meal distills into a basic night of what we all enjoy; eating, talking and listening. There is no need for a program and last night solidified that. One of the veterans confirmed this as he mentioned that this was the first Veteran event he has attended where he had been asked to share. The other event at churches were just a mention of their name while the Veteran is asked to stand. Interestingly enough, this man had been reluctant to share, it was his wife who looked me straight in the eye and asked me to make him. His reluctance was based on not being enlisted as an active duty veteran, he did not feel worthy to share alongside these veterans. What he shared last night was memorable. "You are free to disagree about everything in the United States because of the men and women who are fighting for freedom."
We were honored again to have two WWII veterans. They are
leaving the planet and soon it will
not be an option to invite them to this meal. The one WWII veteran, John Flemming, was our history lesson for the evening. He had four of the EnLIST students unfurl a swastika banner that had landed in his hands as his troops were dismantling them after the war ended. The men from the Vietnam war shared of the response they received upon return. One had urine thrown on him and the hurt is still present. One man who had served in Afghanistan could not get through the list of his buddies who did not return. These are the heroes he demanded us to know, not him.
One wife came back and said to me in a hushed voice, "This is the most I have heard from my husband in all of our married life, thank you." A place and space was provided, honor was felt and he was able to enter into a safe place and he shared. It was evident last night that we walk amongst men and women who have left the military with heavy hearts, wounds beyond their flesh and they need us to be sensitive, understanding and ready to listen when they are ready to share. We must provide them a safe place.
One family member had never seen the pictures her relative had taken from his time in Vietnam. Last night, she did.
Last night once again, the men and their wives left honored. This was no fancy event, no slick program, we were all just simply being human and connecting. We cried with them because they let us see their lingering pain. We all left with a greater sense of what we owe them. The fleece blankets the students created for them is a small gift of warmth, a reminder that we do appreciate them.
And so now, I am convinced more than ever our veterans need a safe place to share, a space to be the program, an opportunity to share what they have learned. What made them enlist in the first place was a desire to do something. That desire has not left. If this post stirs something inside of you, just do it, create a Veterans' meal. You will never be disappointed and you will be amazed at the impact it will have on the Veterans you invite. Allow the veterans to be the program. All you have to do is provide the space, the food and a place for memorabilia. Geoffrey Burkholder you were led by the Holy Spirit! Thank you for your obedience.
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