Day 97 Thank God for Children

April 12, 2015
Day 97


They make it uneasy for me to gossip. They give me no room. They do not value my juicy points, instead they view them as mindless and, frankly, negative. They look on me with disgust when I am duplicitous. Thank you God for my children.

They make it difficult for me to bore them with my "To Do List" as I try to convince them that I have an unbearable schedule. They silently plead for me to shut up and live out my faith. "Hey, why don't you trust in the Lord, rest in Him, use all your insightful phrases, mom." Thank you God for my children.

They do not encourage my sarcastic remarks, their lack of chuckle speaks volumes. "Why not lift us up, mom? Biting remarks are not cool!" Ouch! Thank you God for my children.

My analytical ways sometimes relegates mental illness to folks driving me nuts. Never knew I had the psychology degree, did ya? This embarrasses them. "Keep it to yourself, mom, some things are better left unsaid." Thank God for my children. "We are going to be kind in our hearts, Mom" the children say to me. This is humbling and yet a very necessary piece of advice. Thank God for my children.

They look surprised when I burst out in anger. Their eyes stop me in my tracks. Thank God for my children.

The critical comments I vomit about their dilapidated homestead is faced with a plea to remain positive, look on the bright side. "The children in Africa would love this home, mom?!

I am always disgusted by the hypocritical servant in the bible, disgusted! This guy is forgiven for a massive amount of debt and He turns around and makes the little guy pay back the penny. So not cool, especially when I see myself playing the part of the hypocrite through my children's eyes.

But this is what I know to be true. I am only their mother. I am not their saint.
I am only human. I am not their Savior.
I am an example of someone in need of forgiveness. I am not their redeemer.
I will always disappoint my children, but the Jesus who saves never will.

I have always allowed my children to see me and not the "mommy facade." This I would not and will not change. My parents taught me that authenticity and vulnerability were key indicators of a christian, a human christian, saved by grace. In my weakness my children will see Jesus, this I know.