This is Jen Hatmaker's post for Sunday 2, 2016. This is not my writing. Repeat this is not my writing but it is my heart!
"....In the spirit of transparency, I'll tell you that I've had a pressure on my chest for a bit - pushing, pushing, pushing. This pressure is familiar, like a terrible old frenemy, but it just hasn't been around in awhile. The pressure says the same old thing: "You're not enough, not right, not good, not meeting expectations, not falling in line, not giving everyone what they want." It's such a boring, tired message, but it somehow works every.single.time.
I got to spend a bit of time with friend and mentor Marilyn Meberg this weekend in Dallas at Belong, and she got on the bus, sat right next to me, brushed aside any scrap of chit chat and said: "God has something for me to tell you and I didn't know when I could do it this weekend, but here we are and here it is..."
She reminded me that liberation is God's whole plan for all of us: to set us free. To set us free from sin and shame and loss and isolation and harm. It is for freedom that Christ set us free - not to be used, not to be a pawn for God's fame, not to follow better rules, not to become self-righteous...He set us free so we would be free. Full stop. He set us free so we could live a free life. What a good God! A free life is a full life, a purposeful life, a rich life, a healthy life, a loving life, a connected life, a powerful life. Of course Jesus wants freedom for us.
Anyhow, Marilyn reminded me that anytime we crave the freedom of others, when we work toward THEIR liberty, equality, justice, seat at the table - we should absolutely expect a full-court press of opposition. FULL COURT PRESS. The work is too important. It delivers too much freedom to a world that has always operated on hierarchy, power, and position. Anytime captives are set free, the fragile ecosystem of power is in jeopardy. What better way to keep God's people hamstrung, in-fighting, destabilized, and neutralized than to keep them in bondage, especially by each other? She told me the main message:
Keep speaking.
She touched on something I hadn't even been able to identify exactly. This pressure to muzzle, to deliver content that only makes people happy, amused, entertained, or comfortable - but to shut down the conversations that push, expose, call out, and disrupt. This pressure to package the Good News in only the preferred template to the preferred crowd in the preferred manner with the preferred language.
Someone called me "small" online yesterday. But I think the actual implication is that a big gospel is scary and unfamiliar and uncomfortable and intimidating. We prefer it contained, to be quite honest. We prefer to see it operate in OUR channels, in OUR context, in OUR language, for OUR benefit. Watching the gospel of freedom head outward toward others in ways outside our experience feels disorienting, and in an attempt to keep it tight, right, contained, and manageable, we criticize and poke holes and grasp. I've done this exact thing.
Good friends, let's keep craving the freedom of others, no matter how much criticism it draws. Because if we love mercy for ourselves, we better love it for everyone else, or there is no truth in us. And I guess we better expect a fight, because liberation is powerful. I give you the same permission and assignment Marilyn gave me:
Keep speaking.
Keep speaking.
Keep speaking.
It is for freedom that Jesus set us free. All of us...."
Take time to find out about one of our family members, Jen Hatmaker.
In two weeks Lynn, Chris and I will be attending a conference called Global Awakening. Back just one year I would not have even heard of this event. I am only going because the book of John has literally taken my life and turned it upside down. From the pages of this gospel the view of the Trinity is undeniable and life altering.
The Trinity offers a beautiful, honoring, and inviting picture of all three persons and reaches out to humanity to gather us in. I am trapped in the Trinity of love and intimacy with Jesus. He is a continuous embrace of kindness, goodness and deep affection.
Go to the website of Global Awakening, you might want to attend as well?!
In two weeks Lynn, Chris and I will be attending a conference called Global Awakening. Back just one year I would not have even heard of this event. I am only going because the book of John has literally taken my life and turned it upside down. From the pages of this gospel the view of the Trinity is undeniable and life altering.
The Trinity offers a beautiful, honoring, and inviting picture of all three persons and reaches out to humanity to gather us in. I am trapped in the Trinity of love and intimacy with Jesus. He is a continuous embrace of kindness, goodness and deep affection.
Go to the website of Global Awakening, you might want to attend as well?!
My children are a blessing! I am grateful for all the time I have been able to spend with them and yet If I could rewind I would do the following:
~Say no to some of my friends' requests to either go out to eat or spend significant time together. Yes, it is important to maintain friendships, which I have always done. But I would add more time with the family and shave off time with friends.
~Read more to my children. Some really did not get into it at all but I wish I would have forced the issue.
~Walk more with my children - though the honest truth is I always have had a hard time making them do things they did not want to do. Some of my friends were excellent at this and I have seen how their persistence paid off in the end. I probably should have forced more things through.
~Do more outside activities. My husband grew up in the Wilds of Northern Ontario. His former life was filled with outdoor adventure. He had been there and done that. Dang! Missed out on that one.
~I am thankful for all the friends my children had over.
~I am thankful for all the food that flew out of our house feeding visitors.
~I am thankful for all the friends my children brought through the doors. Some of my children brought more people home than the others.
~I wish I would have been organized for them. But God made it clear to me over the years that He knew who He was giving His children to! It was to me, the random, bit messy, unorganized one who loves to think.
~I wish dinner time would have been more intriguing for me to think about. The times we have spent around the table have been rich and fun but not as consistent as I would have liked.
~Taught them more hymns. Some of these old hymns have such powerful messages wrapped up in a tune and they are easy to learn and remember.
~Taken them to more local places. Every summer I would make a mental list of events around the area but always when the time came my interest level plummeted.
~Maintained a garden that I made them work in.
~Made bedtime more of an event than an exhausted shrugging of my shoulders.
~Make bedtime a firm time. Who am I kidding? They would not have gone to bed! I never did!
I am so thankful for the relationships I have with my children despite my lack in some significant areas. And I am overwhelmed by the fact that they like to spend more time with me and communicate this to me. Man, what a gift! This is such an honor because each one of them is unique and so fun to hang out with.
To be silent when I should say something. To talk when I should be silent. To change my words to suit the situation, the moment, but not my convictions. To commit to a view despite the niggling of my conscience. To sway toward someone's view because they are so convincing. To listen and not give my honest answer. To continue the charade, the facade, though I know better. None of this is right or appropriate or fitting for a woman of my age. I have always said that growing old happens but becoming wise is a choice.
I find myself often slipping into adolescent views, mindsets, actions and habits. I know better. Like eating too many chocolate chip cookies and feeling sick to my stomach is like talking beyond the appropriate parameters and knowing it leads to nauseousness. Peace in my inner person comes from restraining my tongue, exercising wisdom, and choosing to grow old beyond advancement in numbers.
The more I talk when I should talk and shut up when I should shut up, the more my children will gain a deeper and broader understanding of kindness, self control, discernment and keen awareness. Yes, I am a mess. And Yes, I know it. This is moving in the right direction - self evaluation. May I learn to speak and stay quiet based on what the situation requires.
Living Life with Jesus Christ is a life worth living. Christianity is the most wholistic, reasonable, relational, life giving religion. This is because it is beyond religion and a straight up relationship. When the God of Life, who cares about our life, is allowed back into our life, life is full on adventure even through dark and troubling times.
On the weekends, we live life large in friendships. These three days are often times of relating and this is completely reflective of God's character and nature. Friday night was a send off bonfire (or not) for Dani Cupo who embarks on a new mission in life - YWAM. We sat on her back porch laughing and howling. The people who congregate in the Cupo home are just great people. Their house is full of welcome, warmth and darn good food!
Saturday Morning was a conference on abuse for church leadership called Leading Through Abuse. It was excellent. Sam and Jill Waters of Still Waters and Pastor Bob Petersheim were the originators of this conference. From 9 am till 3 pm we heard statistics, personal accounts, sermons, ways to help and just plain good advice on domestic violence. The contacts I was able to make for what God has laid on my heart - GPS (God's Protective Spirit - the Body rising up to help those oppressed in our midst) were encouraging. I am anxious to follow up with them.
Paul Pinkerton, Pastor of Redemptive Faith Community Fellowship. His topic "Facing Up!!! To the facts! To the Fight! To the Faith!"
Kathryn texted me while I was still at Conestoga Church and asked if I wanted to walk. YES! when I arrive home I told her let's go to French Creek, my all time favorite state park in my back yard. She is not so much the walker - she is the runner. She is training for a half marathon and walking was on her schedule. I was so down to be with her I left after the conference way sooner than I normally would.
Hopewell Furnace (accessible through French Creek)
Random shot outside the Blacksmith shop.
We had juicy burgers and sweet potatoes on the grill with family, including a good friend, Whitney, and my father in law. I love eating with family and friends. I love that Jesus loved to eat with his friends as well. He made breakfast for his disciples after He resurrected!
After watching Money Monster with George Clooney and Julia Roberts ( I loved it). Lynn, Geoff, Jesse, and I headed over to Billy Burgers to hear Chris play to a crowd. Ahhh....I love listening to him. Finally at midnight I laid my head to rest.
You can hardly see Chris. He is more to the left of the picture. Back of Geoff's head.
Sundays are first spent at Reading City Church. I just love the people there. In the afternoon Lynn's sister, Wanita, her family, and our family congregated at my father in law's home. We killed a few birds with one stone. We ate together, we celebrated Wanita and Dad's birthday. And we looked at slides to select the pictures that will be placed in the book my father in law is writing. He is an excellent photographer and it is always a pleasure to look at his slides!
In the evening Colby Beiler had asked if he could have a bonfire to celebrate his wife's birthday. That was plain fun to come home to. The men and women at RCC who are Colby and Cait's ages were there and this was a time of fellowship while eating and sittting around a bonfire. We had an encouraging and rich discussion and ended with prayer. Life is good.
I listened to a podcast from Bethel church in Redding, CA. If you have time you might want to sign up for the Bethel App and listen to this podcast of September 18 - Family of God. Bill Johnson speaks of the Body of Christ relating and the need for it to do so.
Our God describes a good shepherd when He says, “I will feed My flock and … lead them to rest. … I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick” (Ezek. 34:15–16 NASB). As pastors you are shepherds of God’s sheep. It is an eternally significant task and often fraught with difficulties. One of the crucial things necessary for doing your work well is that you must know your sheep. You cannot care for or guide those you do not know. I would like to help you understand some of the people in your churches in a new way.
I have spent over forty years as a Christian psychologist working with trauma of all kinds—sexual abuse, rape, domestic abuse, war, trafficking, and genocide. Given the statistics for sexual abuse alone (one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before they turn eighteen), it seems safe to conclude that all pastors have trauma victims sitting in their pews. Most of them are silent about what they have endured. Trauma occurs when suffering overwhelms normal human coping. Those who are victims live with recurring memories of atrocities both witnessed and endured. The memories infect their sleep, destroy their relationships and capacity to work, torment their emotions. The wounds of trauma are not visible; the effects are.
Trauma has a profound spiritual impact. Trauma raises questions about who God is, His character, His faithfulness, His purposes, and His capacity to keep us. It mutilates hope; it shatters faith; it turns the world upside down. It is important that we understand these struggles and do not silence them or treat them as a failure of faith. When we silence victims of trauma and their questions, we do further damage and, in fact, become an obstacle in the work that God can and wants to do in a life battered by trauma and evil.
People who are suffering long for help and comfort. It is an open door for the church to bend down, like her Lord bent down for us, and enter into traumatized lives with real help and companionship and comfort. As we do we will begin to see, like Israel of old, the trauma wilderness in which many dwell, the valley of Trouble, becoming a door of hope (Hosea 2:14–15). The church of Jesus Christ is called to bring light to dark places, love to damaged souls, and truth about who our God is—He who entered in so that we might know Him and be like Him.
How to enter into traumatized lives
How can you as shepherds enter into traumatized lives and lead your people to do the same? Of first importance is an understanding of what suffering does to humans. If you live with someone full of cancer or battling chronic pain, you know that suffering reduces people. It lessens all of their capacities, not just physically but also mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. They become less themselves. That is just as true for unseen wounds as it is for physical diseases. It is true for a combat vet, a rape victim, an incest survivor, a domestic violence victim, or a survivor of war. They may look fine, but the mind and heart wounds run deep and affect them profoundly. If we attempt to enter into the life of someone who is reduced, limited, altered by suffering, we must reduce ourselves as well. That is why we are quiet in a hospital room. For those suffering trauma, fewer words, quiet voices, patience, and pausing so they are not overwhelmed is vital to our entering in so we do not bring further harm. In doing so, we are following our Savior who was made flesh, greatly reduced from His eternal glory so as to enter in and become like us. It is, in fact, Christlike to reduce ourselves in the face of another’s suffering. And then, when sufferers are slow to speak, slow to listen, or slow to change, our responses are to also be like our incarnate Savior’s response toward us. It is in part how those who are suffering begin to see, in the flesh, a bit of who our God truly is with His creatures when they are reduced, overwhelmed, helpless, or slow. We bring Him to them by who we are with them in their worst places.
At the same time, a truth I did not see for some time became stunningly clear to me as the years went by. God is always working both sides. I am not just present to sufferers so that they can receive comfort or grow. I am there because God is exposing to me where I am unlike Him, so that I can run to Him and have Him teach me where I am wrong and what He would do in me to make me more like Himself. It is a principle applicable to all of life. All God’s people are called to Christlikeness. Our failures in that area, which are many, teach lies about who He is and damage both us and those with whom we interact. Typically, humans react in painful situations with attempts to change the other person or the circumstances. This can be particularly true when hearing a story of overwhelming evil and suffering. We want the other person to get better so we feel better. But God uses ministry to the traumatized to change caregivers as much as victims.
Following a traumatic experience, every human being must make the heartbreaking adjustment to a new world full of losses. Human beings who experience trauma feel alone, helpless, humiliated, and hopeless. Following trauma, people turn inward, away from life, because the memories and the feelings are all they can handle. This is not wrong; it is necessary for a while. However, eventually if life is to go on, the people must return to the outside world. How can you help people face what is inside, to help them remember well and yet still be able to return to life in a way that is good?
What does healing look like?
Recovery involves a reversal of the experience of trauma. Trauma brings silence because it feels like there are no words to describe what happened. Trauma brings emotional darkness and aloneness because it feels like no one cares and no one could possibly understand. Trauma makes time stand still because we get so lost in what happened we cannot see forward and we have lost hope. There are three main things that must occur to reverse this and bring about recovery. All three must happen.
First, victims need to talk, to tell their story. They may be afraid to do so, slow to speak, uncertain of their words. But as we listen and bear witness to their trauma, we grant them dignity, safety, and comfort. Second, they need to grieve. Trauma always includes loss. The victims’ sense of self is altered, as is their way of living in this world. Trauma shatters faith and mutilates hope. There is much to grieve, so talking eventually must include tears. Third, the victims need time. Both you and the trauma victims will want a quick recovery. Such significant and deep wounds do not recover quickly. The more life-threatening the wound, the slower the recovery (obviously this is true physically as well).
Here are the words of a genocide survivor in Rwanda who lived through unspeakable atrocities and trauma. “I saw only evil. I no longer believed God to be good. The church was not a sanctuary for my family; it was a cemetery. But then you came, you listened, and you heard my broken heart. And now I think I can believe that God too is listening and hears my pain and will be my sanctuary because I have gotten a taste of Him through you.”
The Word was made flesh for you and for me. Now you and I are called to do the same for the world. When you, as a shepherd of the sheep, name the unspeakable things for your people, gently call them to begin to speak the truth about their lives and the wounds they bear. As you study and learn, you can teach your people to go with you into the dark places of great suffering in your pews and around the world.
Jesus went through villages and cities, teaching, preaching, and healing. And “seeing the people,” He was moved with compassion. They were distressed, wounded, bleeding sheep. He saw what others did not see. They were fainting, fleeced by wolves and without a shepherd’s care. In response He said, “The harvest. …” These seem to be contradictory figures, mixed metaphors. A flock of sheep wounded and fainting, and harvest. Harvest is usually about a robust, healthy, flourishing crop. Here is the deep truth about Jesus’ mission. Human need, distress, and trauma constitute harvest for Him and His workers. Where the day is darkest and need is sorest there the fields are white to harvest. Trauma—a mission field of the twenty-first century. He did not say it was hopeless, but that it was a plenteous harvest.
It is my prayer that you will lead His people to follow Him into the dark and difficult places, throwing the shadow of His great glory over the suffering of this earth.
