Monday, September 26, 2016

Day 242: September 26, 2016 Growing Old But Maybe Not Wise

September 26, 2016
Day 242

Growing Old But Maybe Not Wise

To be silent when I should say something. To talk when I should be silent. To change my words to suit the situation, the moment, but not my convictions. To commit to a view despite the niggling of my conscience. To sway toward someone's view because they are so convincing. To listen and not give my honest answer. To continue the charade, the facade, though I know better. None of this is right or appropriate or fitting for a woman of my age. I have always said that growing old happens but becoming wise is a choice.

I find myself often slipping into adolescent views, mindsets, actions and habits. I know better. Like eating too many chocolate chip cookies and feeling sick to my stomach is like talking beyond the appropriate parameters and knowing it leads to nauseousness. Peace in my inner person comes from restraining my tongue, exercising wisdom, and choosing to grow old beyond advancement in numbers.

The more I talk when I should talk and shut up when I should shut up, the more my children will gain a deeper and broader understanding of kindness, self control, discernment and keen awareness. Yes, I am a mess. And Yes, I know it. This is moving in the right direction - self evaluation. May I learn to speak and stay quiet based on what the situation requires.