Thursday, August 20, 2015

Day 225 Becca Don't Read This....

August 21, 2015
Day 225

Theo and Lydia, and this is why we go through the pain! They are precious!

Today, a new mother to be and I sit out in my backyard under the birch tree speaking of labor and delivery. (I will try not to use her name in this post) As this will be her first child, I recommend that she try to think about the pushing stage, and really think about it. To me, I tell her, this is the most important thing. She should envision it, play it out (how the heck she is to do this, I don't know, just do it!), and try to actually think it through. She is trying to look keenly interested, but I see right through that keen veneer, she is scared by my advice, really scared. And I try to assure her without looking like I am lying through my teeth. There is just no way around it, it kinda hurts. A lot.

I begin my motivational speech likening the labor and delivery to the following. It is like riding on top of a train at full speed, heading for a concrete wall, while standing. It is like diving off of a three thousand foot cliff, into five feet of water. It can be done. I have done it six times. It is like flying on an airliner's wings twenty thousand feet in the air without being strapped on. Her eyes narrow with each harrowing description.

She mentions her friends' discovery with the recent birth of their first child. To their shock there is no "curtain" over the woman's legs while she is giving birth. Curtain???? What??? We iron out the terminology. Curtains, uh, sheets maybe. She is not excited about anyone being down there in the vicinity of where the baby is born let alone curtains. Poor thing, she is truly trapped in my backyard listening to the following. Trust me, I stare into her eyes, you are going to want your midwife down there. And you might even ask her to crawl in and yank the infant out! For Fetus' Sake! You are gonna beg the impossible.

Modesty?! Are you kidding. During labor, that word does. not. exist. There is a new lexicon you are gonna use and it ain't pretty. All clothes might come off. And you are not going to care who is in the room. There could be a 4th of July picnic, a full fledged family reunion, and you will care less. And if you do care, you will be able to clear a room in micro-seconds. This is when you hold nothing back, hide nothing, expose all, and say what needs to be said, and you don't mean maybe!

That was sufficient reality for the day. She quickly leaves my yard.

1 comment:

  1. hahah! i was fully expecting a few more wise sentences and then... "she quickly leaves my yard..." hahhaah

    oh boy. good one.